What on earth?

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Thank-you for visiting my site. Want to know why I am doing this? It only makes sense to tell it in an interview. Here’s an interview of me, by me, for you. Enjoy! Jana, the boss of waringis.com.

Why are you interviewing yourself?
It seemed like the only way to capture the essence of this site, but I’m kind of regretting it already. I’m not comfortable speaking about myself and I feel nervous that people will over analyze every word I utter and think either (1) I’m crazy or (2) I have a hidden agenda behind this interview because I’m sneaky. Of course, both are probably true.

What kind of hidden agenda would you have?
To have people tattoo my name on their forehead, religiously check my site and then spread the word all over the city. However, commitment to two out of the three actions would suffice.

How did you get the idea to start a website?
I’ve been toying with the idea of starting my own business for awhile. Finally, it was time to put my education to good use and exert some built-up creativity. Although this only occurred to me after I was watching an episode of MTV’s “I’m From Rolling Stone.” Seeing all those interns scramble to meet deadline made me miss the magazine business. It’s hard to imagine, but years ago, I once was the Managing Editor of WakeBoarding magazine.

But you’re a girl and you don’t ride a wakeboard.
Exactly, I had a much different point of view. But I was just as surprised as you are when I got the job. It just goes to show, it is all about who you know. Some of my friends, who also happened to be professional wakeboarders, would have me over on the boat for years. Then finally, when I graduated from school, the friendships were enough to convince my future boss I was well connected and my degree said that I could finish something I had started. Who knew the partying would pay off? Anyway, I had started trying to figure out what exactly it was that I missed about the magazine business, because I very vividly remember doing things I do not miss, and one day while I was driving it hit me—interviews. I missed the interviews.

What do you mean while you were driving?
What do you mean ‘while I was driving?’ I think, while I drive, that’s just what I do. In fact, that’s where most of my work gets done.

Do you have a computer in your car?

Then how do you type?
I type with my imagination.

Fair enough. But why interviews?
I love everything about interviews. They’re timely and timeless at the same time. When done right, it’s a candid moment captured. Some people take pictures, others write music, I can’t do those things very well so I interview.

How do you pick those to be interviewed?
I do what the people tell me. I have a whole city of them living in my brain, it’s very complicated.

Well once ‘the people’ have selected their interviewee, how do you get those interviewed to open up to you?
I cry or offer them all my saved up McDonald’s dollars. If that doesn’t work I threaten them with a signed Jose Canseco bat.

You are right now, and are already in every interview. What more do you want?
I want it all.

So I noticed you’re in a wheelchair.
Yes, it’s true. I am in a chair that has wheels.

Urban Legend has it you were injured on the Nickelodeon game show GUTS.
No, I was on GUTS when I was 12. I was injured when I was 20. It amazes me how long the Agro Crag has lived on. There is a whole under ground movement of GUTS watchers, even now, thanks to the GAS network reruns.

Well, do you mind if I ask you how you were injured?
Not at all, I am very comfortable talking about my wheelchair. Just don’t be offended if I start asking about your handicaps, like why you talk funny, drool or have sweaty hands. Long story short, I used to perform in a stunt show at Sea World in the ski stadium. I was not skiing behind Shamu nor do I own him at this time. I was a gymnast, something I had been my whole life up until this particular incident, performing in a show for about a thousand people, when I took a tumble for the not-so-good. Without the gory details, I broke my neck and it left me paralyzed.

Well that is just awful.
Yes, I am aware.

So if you’re a quadriplegic, then why are you able to move your arms?
Good genes. There are also different levels of injury. My injury level allows me good use of most of my arms for important things like drinking soda and churning butter. However, I can’t move my fingers nor do I have much tricep function, although, you probably wouldn’t even notice.

Wow. I’m just so sorry to hear that.
Don’t be. On second thought, it’s rough. Just terrible, please send donations in the form of gift cards and cash. Thanks.

But you seem so positive and you’re doing so many things…
Well that’s a choice I have to make. I could be happy or miserable, but either way I’m stuck in this chair. So I figured, I might as well make the best of it. Everyone has their issues, mine are just very up front and in everyone’s face. But once you get past that, I’m just like everyone else.

Except for the fact that you’re interviewing yourself.
Awkward. [pauses] Yeah, that’s got to hit the bizarre radar somewhere.

So back to the site, what exactly are you trying to do with it?
Occupy some time, let out some creative fuel, but mostly I’m trying to get some sort of online magazine going for our community. As someone who has lived in Orlando nearly my whole life, I’ve seen it go through some changes that have been especially intense in the past couple of years but probably not even close to what’s coming up ahead.

So it’s like a documentary?
Perhaps, if there is such a thing as a documentary without the film aspect. It just seems that there is no better way to tell our city’s story other than through the people themselves. I happen to think there are some amazing people here, and I love this city—for everything it is, and isn’t yet. Call it a passion project.

What other things are you passionate about?
Live music, magazine reading, jigsaw puzzles, being outside when it’s not a hundred degrees, freckles, people and why they are the way they are, crossword puzzles that are labeled ‘Easy’ yet still impossible for me to finish, traveling, being somebody who is respected and then there’s reality TV.

Is there anyone you’d like to thank for getting this thing going?
That’s the worst question ever to ask. It usually means the interview is over and people stop reading, unless of course, you’re the person being thanked.

You don’t have to answer it then. We’ll end with a different question.
No, I’ll give it a go. Ah hem, I’d like to thank Social Security for dropping a very small disability check in my bank every month. It’s keeping the project alive. Chick-fil-a, because seriously without you I’d be malnourished. Augusten Burroughs, because even though you haven’t responded to the only two fan letters I’ve ever written in my life, you’ve helped me in some way and you don’t even know or probably care. Dunkin’ Donuts, it’s certainly what I run on. All eight of my magazine subscriptions, however I feel like I’ve gotten screwed on the renewal system a few times. The people who make music for people like me who need it. And, finally, the entourage of people it takes me to get through one day which includes friends and family …

OK enough already, last question for real, how did you come up with the name waringis.com?
I didn’t, the people did.