99 Problems

The daily struggles of urban living as a quadriplegic explained one by one. It's so much more than not being able to find a parking space.
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99 Problems — #1 Attack of the Flying Pens

Everyone knows that inner city DMV offices are the closest manifestations to Dante’s’ Infernos of Hell. So in preparation of being tortured and in attempt to be a good citizen, I called ahead, made an appointment, and arrived to the DMV promptly with a file of all appropriate certificates and titles.

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99 Problems — #2 My Kitty Has Super Powers

So there I was minding my own business, taking a break from the daily blogging grind to focus my attention on the newest 1000-piece jig saw puzzle to grace our dining room table, a cartoonish version of the Las Vegas strip, when I noticed Zola…

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99 Problems — — #3 Los Angeles Sidewalks Are Cracked Out

The sidewalks of Los Angeles are brutal, and not just for someone who is a wheelchair user. Joggers, skateboarders, bike riders, the elderly, those who push shopping carts up and down the streets—-I think everyone would agree the side walks of Los Angeles need some TLC…

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99 Problems — #4 Strangers touch me.

One Saturday morning on a downtown Los Angeles walking tour, a grey-haired man in a grey pin-striped suit touched me as he passed by. Technically, it was more of a shoulder grab followed by a question.

“How are you doing today?”

The exchange happened fast and was completely unexpected. I would have thought it a figment of my imagination if…

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99 Problems — #5 I once offended a woman with Lupus.

When my best friend committed to starting her non-profit, a creative reading and writing endeavor dedicated to inner city kids, she also committed us to attending as many charity events as possible. Kind of like of method acting, we threw ourselves into the Orlando philanthropic endeavor circle in order to learn the process of raising […]

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99 Problems — #6 I Hate Parking Garage Ticket Dispensers

Imagine entering a parking garage and having to stop behind a black Toyota Sienna. It appears the person in the driver’s seat is grabbing his/her ticket. So you wait a minute. You wait three minutes. You wonder, What is the hold hold up? You honk your horn. You stick your head out the driver window in attempt to get a glimpse of the moron in front of you who is wasting your precious time. You wait one more minute, but…

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99 Problems — #7 House Wars

My husband Cory and I share an incredibly peaceful living situation. It’s quite an amazing feat considering we both work from home and are literally together all day, every day. Our routine goes something like this…

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99 Problems — #8 I Have Beef With Matt Lauer

Besides appearing to be a pompous asshole and having a hand in Ann Curry’s morning news departure, Matt Lauer has been misinforming viewers about paralysis for decades. And for this, I loathe him and his leg-crossing ways. To be fair I haven’t watched anything Lauer since Curry-Gate so perhaps he has changed his ways… on […]

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99 Problems — #9 I’m Having An Identity Crisis

Recently at a party in Los Angeles, a wined enhanced woman-child trapped me in the corner of the room to preach about name changing and its terrible traditions. It was in her opinion that a woman should not take her husband’s last name simply because of marriage, and that doing so displayed weakness. Listening, it […]

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99 Problems — #10 Disabled Traveling Is No Easy Feat (Part: 1)

I’m often asked what happens to my wheelchair upon boarding an airplane. The answer is: like luggage, it is tagged and shoved into the bottom of the airplane–and I do mean shoved. While everyone else looks for places overhead to stow their over-sized travel bags, I wait for the thud that is my wheelchair being […]

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99 Problems — #11 I Drop Things On The Floor, A Lot

Each time my husband leaves town I’m reminded of how helpless and clumsy I am. That’s because I drop nearly everything, all the time, so much to the point its embarrassing… even when no one is watching. A pen, my phone, the remote control to the TV, keys, drinks, sunglasses, a toothbrush, a fork–there’s really […]

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99 Problems — #12 Looks Like We Might Need Kickstarter To Start A Family

Yes, Cory and I want to rear children one day. And yes, I can carry a full term pregnancy as a quadriplegic. But just because I can doesn’t mean I should–and in fact I’ve opted out of this life experience. It may sound selfish but I don’t want to risk my health for the sake […]

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99 Problems — #13 I Am Not The Boss of Me

There are days that being paralyzed blows. There is no other polite way to say it. It’s so much more than not being able to stand up, walk or run. There’s the chronic bladder infections and urinary tract infections and poor circulation with threats of blood clots. There’s bowel accidents…

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99 Problems — #14 Elevators Can Be Unpredictable–Dicks Are Not

Feeling balanced and hypnotized by the high that comes from bending and stretching, Cory and I left our private yoga session only to be slapped in the face with reality. The elevator button would not light up. After a few minutes of waiting, Cory went up the stairs to see what was going on. The […]

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99 Problems — #15 If Orange Is The New Black Then Disability Is The New Orange

Like a litter of adorable adoptable puppies, my wheelchair attracts physical contact, head tilting and high-pitched voices from all walks of society. After fifteen years of being paralyzed I’ve become accustomed to the attention that comes along with adversity. In fact, I once thought I was special. Now it seems disabled people are everywhere, especially […]

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What Breaking My Neck Taught Me About White Privilege

America’s political disparity seems to be at an all time high right now. I’d say this happens after every four-year election cycle, except this time it feels different. People have been spiteful and unkind to each other, more than ever before.

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