At least two times a week for the past year, I’ve drove past the sixty-year-old and wondered about his story and what he possible could be reading. In my mind, Rick was not just another homeless man. He was a dignified professor performing some integrated long social experiment. So it took me awhile to build up the courage to finally approach him. My fear: Rick snapping at me in public and shouting things like, “You ruined it!” and “You’ve blown my cover as an undercover homeless person.”

Turns out, Rick is soft-spoken. I doubt he’s ever yelled. And while sometimes I think its important to poke and prod someone for their story–you know, get down to the nitty gritty–I equally think there’s strength in keeping it simple. And Rick is very simple, as you will soon see. This interview took place at Lake Eola Park and lasted only five minutes. In exchange for his time I gave him a copy of Fragmentation + Other Stories, to which he graciously accepted.

How did you end up on the benches of Eola Park?
I came here from Key West… looking for work. Didn’t find much. I was a cook, a line chef, for my catering line. Then in the divorce, my wife got that… as well as everything else.

She got the catering company?
Yeah… she got the catering company and everything else. So I started traveling around. I was in Key West for about ten years. And then things got screwed up pretty bad. So I thought I’d try somewhere else to work. I thought, Orlando! Big tourist town. Lots of restaurants. But… [he gives a major thumbs down] that went right down the tubes.

Are you looking for a job now?
I’m always looking for a job.

Do you have any family?
Three kids… somewhere. My wife had them adopted after the divorce. When I found out, it was too late to do anything about it.

Where do you spend most of your time?
Walking around. Sitting here reading.

I always see you with a book in your hand and usually under the 408. Why there?
Why not? It’s a nice place to read. And I don’t get too wet when it rains.

What are you reading today?
[He turns the front of the book towards me so I can see it.] Praying For Sleep

What’s your favorite genre?
I don’t just have one. I’ll read anything but Romanticism and Westerns.

How many books do you think you’ve read in your lifetime?
Oh… at least 20,000.

What’s been your favorite read?
My favorite read is The Bible. I read it at least twice, three times a year.

Really? Do you learn something new each time you read it?
Yeah. I learn about me.

What have you learned about yourself?
I’m not the bad guy that I think I am sometimes. It’s always good to make yourself self-aware.

Where do you get your books?
People give them to me. Or I find ‘em.

What do you love/hate about Orlando?
I don’t hate anything about Orlando. There’s no use. It’s a waste of energy.

Then what do you love?
Everything… because God gave it to us. And I get to enjoy it.

Do you find that people are nice to you?
Yep

What do you want to tell people that walk by and maybe stare at you?
It only takes one mistake and you could be the same as me.

If you could be anywhere else in the world, where would you be?
[Pauses] Nowhere.

C’mon, nowhere?
I’m happy where ever I am.

Fair enough. Now I’d like to do some word associations. Say the first thing that comes to mind when I say the following words:

Today:
Beautiful

Food:
Necessary

Love:
Necessary

Music:
Necessary

Education:
Definitely necessary

Alcohol:
Once in a while

People:
Try to do good.

Tomorrow:
It never comes.

If you could go back in time and do one thing over in life, what would it be?
Nothing.

You’d do it all the same?
I made the choices I made. I thought they were right. So why would I change them?

But are you happy with those choices?
Yeah… I am happy. [Smiles]

Interview Date: October 25, 2011

Personally, I’m pulling for J. Christopher Silvia for the win and for J. Bradley to say something that makes everyone cringe. See you there!

Here are the details:
WHEN: November 13, Doors open at 7, show starts at 8:15 sharp
WHERE: Mad Cow Theater, 105 S. Magnolia Ave.
COST: $6 online preorder and $9 at the door

www.literarydeathmatch.com

Thanks to Google, there he was on my computer screen. A picture of a middle-aged man and his cape flying proudly behind him. He stood strong and proud.  ”Master Legend: Orlando’s real-life superhero,” it said. I was dumbfounded. How could two characters like ourselves coexist in the same city for twenty years without knowing each other? Everyone who lives in Orlando knows it’s a small, big city where everyone knows everyone within three degrees of separation. It’s the rule (at least that seems to be the rule when you’re diving head first into the Orlando dating pool) and yet somehow this superhero snuck his way into a national publication and on to the big screen while no one was looking. If anything, that’s a magical feat upon itself. Kudos ML.

To set-up this interview, I emailed strange listings on googled websites until finally someone replied with Master Legend’s personal email. Within a day he sent me his phone number. It was a month before I called him. I needed time to build up the courage to say, “Hi. Is this Master Legend?”

On the phone he told me about his recent Orlando Sentinel cover and how he felt like the HBO documentary took advantage of him drinking one beer and made him seem like an alcoholic. He assured me he no longer drinks, and that he was going through a depression back then, and that he’s a good guy and soon he has to go get some cracked up teeth fixed. And this all happened before I could formally introduce myself.

Master Legend is practiced. He knows he has a story to tell and it’s obvious he’s told it many times before. Based on my research, his story is very consistent. The morning of this interview he was suppose to call-in to XL106.7 and talk to Johnny on his morning show. His phone blocked Johnny’s call and the interview never happened. He said he felt terrible. To show that he’s dependable and that the morning goof wasn’t his fault, he still wanted to meet me after 8pm to clear the air.

He wanted to meet at Gino’s pizza, the very same place he took the Rolling Stone writer. Due to noise, we walked down Pine St. hoping to find quieter spot for interviewing. Along the way he made friends with a NY Sergeant Fire Fighter, a two-year-old and the two-year-old’s family. He passed out business cards to those he encountered, as if they were presents. He did not leave out the two-year-old. “Find me on Facebook,” he shouted to anyone within reach.

Eventually we landed at the outside tables of Bullit Bar. He faced the street, I faced him and the brick wall backdrop. We were interrupted three times in twenty-two minutes by ML fans. I’m sure many more fans walked by pointing and staring. After all, he was wearing tights, armor, a helmet, sunglasses and a cape–just another Wednesday night for a real-life superhero.

Jana: Describe a typical night for Master Legend.
ML: It depends on where I’m at and the territory. If it’s in my Winter Park area, it’s usually a quiet night because I’m scouring the streets making sure no evil comes back. Long ago, there was all kinds of stuff going on… all kinds of crackheads and people burglarizing everything. I fought them off one by one. When the cops couldn’t do anything, myself and The Justice Crusaders ran ‘em out of town and now I just keep the town clean.

When I come to Orlando, downtown, I walk the streets and help the homeless people. I look for anyone who might be getting attacked. If someone gets attacked, I will jump into action!

In your opinion, what makes a superhero?
You wanna try to do something above and beyond what the average person is doing—that’s one thing that makes a superhero. And you gotta have the heart and spirit, that’s the main thing.

When it comes to being a superhero a lot of people say you must have super powers. A lot of guys out there will say they don’t have super powers. I say they haven’t tapped into it or they don’t believe in such things. But, I, myself am the superhero Master Legend that has super metaphysical abilities.

Is that something you were born with? Or is it a choice that you made?
It’s both for me. I was born with a veil and died the moment I was born.

What do you mean a veil?
It’s a membrane over your face. It’s pretty well known through the ages. Anyone born with the veil that survives without being suffocated is gifted with certain abilities. I suffocated, you see. The doctors brought me back. They brought me back! It all depends on the color of your veil too.

What color was your veil?
Purple.

What does that mean?
I can see spirits and stuff like that…

[A stranger from New York interrupts us to have his picture taken with Master Legend. He recently has seen the HBO documentary and is a fan of ML’s.]

That happens a lot.

That’s okay. What is your superhero quality?
There’s plenty of qualities there. Mainly, I care. That’s the biggest quality I have. I could sit back like other people I see in this world who only worry about themselves, but that’s not me. I’m trying to make a difference. And I’m willing to do anything to do it. I’ll do dangerous stunts—whatever it takes! Just to help out people.

Have you ever heard the story of the Human Fly? It’s a story you should check out sometime. He’s one of my hero’s. Marvel made a comic about him way back in the day but it was short lived. I think you’d really like the story about him. He helped out a lot of sick kids by doing dangerous stunts. And that’s what I’m willing to do too.

How do you find the courage?
After my second death. When I was a teenager I died a second time. I suffocated. Both times I’ve died by suffocation. But the paramedics brought me back! And when I came back the second time I had these special visions. People think I’m nuts when I tell them that. But I’ve shown people what I can do over the years.

Tell me more about these visual powers. Do you see colors or what?
I see spirits and demons in the metaphysical world. I know a lot about energies. There’s these energies that are sometimes evil and I can see them. Something else I do is see inside of people very well. I can read into their very souls.

What do you see inside of me?
I won’t go into all of that right now. That’d be a long thing… and I don’t think we have that kind of time. But I want to help ya.

Fair enough. How did you come up with your costume?
It’s emerged through the years. I’ve always liked armor and protection. And my colors are chrome and black. The silver is like the light shining through the darkness. That’s why I like silver. Silver is the color of purity.

What brought you to Orlando?
Over twenty years ago, I got tired of Louisiana. The town was bad and I was gettin’ sick of the place.  So I decided to come here. Some friends told me to come on down to Orlando. So I did. They said they had a job for me and a place to stay. But they didn’t. I was homeless the day I set foot in Orlando. I had to fight my way through it. I got jumped and beaten up pretty bad.  My face was fractured in, my wrist was broken, stitches to my head—and I had real good, long hair back then too. They stitched my head up at Orlando Regional Medical Center and had to cut my hair.  Luckily, it’s back now. Thank goodness. No bald spots or gray hairs at forty-five.

What do you like/not like about this city?
It’s what I don’t like about many places—the rich people have so much while more and more people are suffering on the streets. There is money being made off of the homeless people. The money that’s suppose to go to them hasn’t been helpin’ one bit or else I wouldn’t have to be out here handin’ out jackets and blankets and food and water and socks and shampoo and soap and toothbrushes and toothpaste and everything I do.

I like the cops, but then I see they have to uphold certain laws that I don’t like. Like, when the jail gets a little low on prisoners, they randomly find homeless people to throw in the jailhouse. I have that filmed. They don’t know it. Some of my spies and The Justice Crusaders…

[A couple walking by interrupts us and asks Master Legend to take a photo with each of them. He is quick to get up and greet them, and then kindly poses for more pictures.]

A lot of times people want to take pictures with me but I don’t think they really care what I do. Anyhow, The Justice Crusaders are jumping into action with the video cameras. You see, the jailhouse industry—as I call it—make $150 a day off a homeless person or criminal or whoever it is. That’s how much tax payer’s pay—$150 day. I’ll tell ya what. There’s a lot of people out there that could use a room. There are places all over that’ll rent a room for $100 a week no problem. Now, for $100, maybe even $75, you could have all the homeless off the streets for a week. Instead, all that money is going to the jailhouse industry. You see what I’m talkin’ about? They have to keep all the jail rooms occupied. It’s kind of like a motel.

[A homeless man interrupts us and asks Master Legend for some goods. ML tells the man he has no handouts at this time. The man asks him what he’s doing out on the streets. He says he’s watching the city, but that’ll he’ll be by later with water and snacks. The man slaps ML five and keeps walking.]

How is the crime in Orlando?
It’s nothing compared to Louisiana. Louisiana was really bad. I don’t think anyone will ever realize what I went through there. They don’t scare me, I’ll tell you that. You don’t go around like this and be afraid of ‘em, ya know? I try to avoid the trouble if I can. But if they want trouble, they’ll find out who I am—Master Legend Kungfu Master.

Do you really know Kungfu?
Yeah! I was trained by a real master.

Do you have a day job?
I’m self-employed. A lot of people don’t understand that I still have obligations. I keep myself self-employed in case there are certain situations that people do need me. Like, I have an award from Orange County Sheriff’s Department for my ability to help during hurricanes. When that [kind of stuff] happens, I can’t worry about asking for the day off. So I’m self-employed, even though times are a little tougher these days as a home repair expert, property manager. I also do professional tree climbing.

How many hours a week do you spend as Master Legend?
I’m always Master Legend with or without the suit. The suit doesn’t make or break me. I’m always Master Legend, that’s just how it is. It’s who I am. I throw on the suit at times, but there’s no act or anything. I’m always ready for action.

What do you say to people who don’t take you seriously?
I don’t have time to waste on explaining myself. I don’t even care, really. I’m too busy trying to save the world.

What’s been your favorite mission?
I guess one of my favorite ones was when I had to fight the evil child molester and his crackhead gang. I had to take care of them all and put them out of business. They won’t be selling any crack rock anytime soon, and the evil guy won’t be molesting any little girls.  Knocked his teeth out. Broke a bone right here in my hand doing it.

That leads to my next question. Have you ever been injured on superhero duty?
Plenty of times. Shot twice. Broken bones. Broken ribs. Concussions. Broken up teeth. Broken fingers. Broken knuckles. All kinds of stitches and bangs, a couple slices and slice wounds, it’s what you get when you’re professional fighter.

The Master Legend spread opener featured in Rolling Stone January '09.

Now that you’ve been in Rolling Stone and recently featured on the HBO documentary Superheroes, you’ve gained quite a bit of attention. How has that affected you?
It’s good. I want everyone across the world to know superheroes are everywhere. Then sometimes, it aggravates me. A lot of times people want you to do everything for them. I can’t do everything and work my regular job. I have to turn down magazines. They wanted me to write a book and I turned that down. You can’t be there for everyone. And sometimes they get mad at me and think I’m being mean. That’s one thing I don’t like about all this. People expect too much out of me. That’s what happens.

I don’t live with mommy and daddy. Sometimes people get false impressions that superheroes do. My daddy killed himself when I was fourteen and my mom disowned me when I was fifteen. I’ve been on my own ever since.

Do you feel like you’ve been portrayed in magazines and in the documentary in a way that’s fair?
They don’t tell the true story. The tell part of it, a skim of the surface, but at least they’re getting the word out there. They just want to do what entertains. There are things I would like them to know about me, some of the more serious stuff. I make the videos so people can see me helping others, and I hope it encourages them to help others too.

Have you made any money from any of it?
Nope. It only takes money out of my pocket all the time. Rolling Stone never paid me anything. HBO never paid me anything. And as for all the other radio shows, people think they pay me, but they don’t. So I collect all kind of expenses just trying to not let people down. No one ever thinks about that. I’ve gone to places where they don’t even have a cold water for me to drink, and they expect me to talk forever.

How is Master Legend’s love life?
There’s a lot of women who wish they could be with Master Legend, but they don’t know the truth about it. It’s not all fancy times. And I’m not the millionaire they think I am. I try not to hit on women as Master Legend. I just take pictures with them. I had a girlfriend a while back and she died. I haven’t been with no woman since.

What are your dreams?
I want to start veterans’ hotels all across the United States. I also wanna help disabled people get off the streets. No homeless veteran’s or disabled people on the streets and then I’ll work from there. This guy from the swamp is going to show the entire world how greed is stoppin’ people from offering a helping hand. I got plans that’ll fix all these problems.

What advice would you give the world?
The world needs to see what’s really going on and take off the blinders. Stand. Unite.  And fight to take back what’s rightfully ours.

How do you want Master Legend to be remembered?
Master Legend will never have to be remembered like he was dead. I’m known all over the world so I’m pretty much immortal. And it’s not just being known but I have done so many wild things. I have no fear. It’s like I can’t die.

If something did happen, and I became missing somehow, remember me as the guy who helped carve the way for many other superheroes. I’m proud I’ve stood strong against evil.

*Interview Date: September 21, 2011

To keep up with Master Legend, like him on Facebook. Or go downtown to Gino’s pizza any given night. It’s his secret interview meeting spot.

The event had impacted me. My curiosity was peaked. I had to know why people were willing to wait so long for food truck food. How good could it be? According to Cory, “The Korean Taco truck in LA serves the most delicious food you’ll ever eat.” So two days later I tracked down the Big Wheel Provisions Food Truck (because I thought it was the prettiest) and ate a gourmet pork sandwich off an old ironing board–and loved it. What is so great about eating from a food truck? Everything. Again, I ate a gourmet pork sandwich off an ironing board and loved it. It’s an experience. You can try unique eats and enjoy them outside and in nature, with or without friends, and all the while you’re supporting a local business. If you haven’t tried a gourmet food truck yet, you must. If you’re too lazy to track down your dinner, you can hire them to come to you (Big Wheel caters!). No matter how you do it, I want to ask you to support Tony, Big Wheel Provisions and other local food trucks. Without our support, they will go away.

Jana: Where did you learn to cook?
Tony: It’s been a long journey. My Mom past away last year so it’s tough to stop and think about, but it started with her. My dad had a boiler company as I was growing up, where he’d fix boilers. I didn’t like the smell of fuel. I didn’t like how dirty you got. So I just hung around inside and in the kitchen and helped my Mom cook.

I also wasn’t allowed to watch TV unless I was watching cooking shows. So it kind of started as a way to sneak TV, but then I realized I could chop really fast and do most of the stuff. So I did college. I did vocational school. And I just started working. [Laughs] I’ve been working since I was like twelve. So I’ve spent a lot of time in restaurants.

Did you work in any local restaurants around town?
Not a ton. I moved down here from Providence [Rhode Island] to teach at Le Cordon Bleu. I was hired full time. I didn’t know anyone, but I made some friends who also taught at the school.

To be honest with you, I was pretty disappointed with the restaurant scene when I first got down here. This was pre-Luma, pre-Ravinous Pig… and I was living in Metro West, which is not a great part of town, at least not for restaurants.  I left the school to open a place in College Park called Adair’s—it’s now closed. But I did a lot of work there for a couple of months. And then I got to spend sometime at The Dessert Lady, waiting tables and playing with cake. Working with Patti [Schmidt] was great. She used to get a kick out of me answering the phone cause she’d make me say, “Hello, this is The Dessert Lady.” [Laughs] But that’s it. I haven’t spent a lot of time working in restaurants in town.

How did Big Wheel Provisions come about?
A couple different ways. I was teaching at the school when I got a random phone call about doing some personal chef work. It was with one of the Magic players. I started working with him, and was immediately hired by another one of the Magic player’s families. They had come over for lunch one day and was like, “Oh my gosh, you must come work for us too!” So [I was working] five days a week, plus teaching, so it became a lot. I did that for a year. I was dating someone at the time that was passionate about the things we do now, and still is. And it was time to make some changes. Working for a for-profit education system is often soul-selling I guess you would say. I started having issues morally, and attitude-wise with what was happening at the school. So I decided to spend some of time on Big Wheel [Provisions], which we officially launched in 2008 going into 2009.

Honestly, it looks so much different now than we ever thought. Big Wheel was called Big Wheel because we thought it was going to be Big Wheel Cheese & Provisions. We thought we were going to open a cheese shop, which was our goal. Here we are three years later and still no cheese shop. We thought we could call up the Winter Park Farmer’s Markets and say, “Hey, we here and ready to do all your stuff. We’re local.” But we’re still on the waiting list there.  So we came to the Audubon Farmer’s Market here at Stardust and Gabby Othon-Lothrop was like, “Oh my god. We’ve been looking for someone like you. Yes, please. Come join us.” So we started with five or six different products one night and did extremely well considering with what we came with. And the madness started from there… and it’s been nuts.

Food Trucks are big in LA and New York but what made you feel like it would work in Orlando?
I didn’t know it would work, and I don’t know if it’s working still, which is very difficult to say. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The thing about Orlando is that it rains every day in the summer between 4-6 and we’ve lost a lot of days in the summer because of it.

What was your first food truck experience like?
[Pauses] I don’t know that I had a food truck experience until I owned one. [Laughs] That’s really embarrassing to admit. But other than ice cream trucks… yeah, I never had a food truck experience. Wow, that’s weird to think about it.

Do you think there can be too many food trucks?
Yeah. There’s a surge happening here, but also a waning. I’ve already seen some food trucks come and go which is unfortunate. I think people may get food truck fatigued. I few other food truck owners got upset with me earlier this spring because I said I saw food trucks as a two-year fad in Orlando.  Financially, we set it up so that for two years we’d be in it, make a little bit of money, and then we’d own the truck to put out every now and again.  We hope that doesn’t happen, but already we’ve seen some community backlash in LA and Portland and I just hope that doesn’t happen here. So can there be too many food trucks? Yes. But I’m more worried about there being food truck events too often and too often in the same place. I also think a normal family doesn’t want to eat at a food truck six nights a week, and it’s difficult to fight for those people.

How do pods work to a food truck’s advantage?
Pods are great. When we started, we thought we were going to be downtown, that we were the only truck and that people would come jammin’ to us. What we really found out is that when we’re alone, very few people come seek us out. Orlando is a town of a convenience, at least in the food truck world. When we do food truck pods it gives people a choice.

It just seems counter-intuitive to me to invite your competition to sell with you.
It is. But you know, it’s great. Like the other night Treehouse’s generator went down and they came to me for oil. I searched for oil and starter fuel and did anything I could to help them get back up and runnin’. We all run together and kind of look after each other. At the same time, I think we’re all looking to be the best truck. At the end of the night, everyone asks around, “Hey, how’d did you do? Did you do I alright?” Ya know? It’s not that we think we’re better than everyone else. We just want to make sure we’re being the best we can be.

How much does a food truck set-up cost?
It cost us about 10% of what would be brick and mortar. Although, it’s cost us double than what we had in our initial budget. Realistically, it’s gonna cost $35-40,000 just for the truck, and then there’s licenses. That’s also before you get into places to park, gas, staff, and everything else. It all adds up really quick. We are very lucky. We have great vendors and do a lot of the work ourselves. But when you have no money and you’re spending investor’s money, it goes a lot quicker than you want it to go. [Laughs]

What’s the biggest challenge to cooking on wheels?
The unexpected. The unexpected pops up everyday. It’s not like a restaurant, where you can call emergency guys to come fix equipment twenty-four hours a day. Those people don’t work on trucks, and then the ones that do work strange hours. So if you go down, there’s nothing you can do. You have no other choice than to shut down.

We’ve lost tires. We’ve lost alternators. And those are things we didn’t expect. Of course we expected maintenance of the vehicle, but it’s always unexpected when something messes up or breaks. There’s a lot of things that can happen and as a planner my mind goes crazy. But you know, it’s part of it and we’ve learned to embrace the food truck life.

Are licenses and permits ever a problem?
In Orange County and City of Orlando you have to be on private property to sell. What that means is that we have to find someone who owns private property and then ask if they’ll let us park there, which requires a letter of permission and usually means we even pay rent. In some cities in America, you can just park on any street and sometimes you may get a ticket but you just stay and literally go anywhere. So it’s not that license and permits are really problems. It’s more finding places that will have us.

A picture I took during my first food truck experience.

Who comes up with the daily menu?
It’s a team effort. There’s often our stack of greatest hits that we feature on the menu, like we’ll always have our chicken skewers and grits or some kind of variation of them. Often, the variations are brought through by Nikki Pulli who is our sous chef, or Erik Gilbertson when we just sit around and talk about the menu. A suggestion may be that we need to have more snacky stuff. So we’ll think of things to do, with like octopus or sliders or meatballs. We buy local as much as possible.  So often we’ll buy at Farmer’s Markets with no idea or purpose, and then figure out what we’ll do after. Our menus often depend on what we buy.

What items are your best sellers?
[Pauses] We go through a lot of fries, and I’d say our bacon brown sugar fries are most popular. A lot of grit cakes, which are always delicious.

And Mexican Cokes! That’s personally something I buy every time.
We go through a fair amount of soda, and we feel like we do a pretty good job stocking up on a selection that is natural with no corn syrup.  We like carrying things that no one else has.

Describe a good day on the food truck.
We wake up and it’s sunny. The forecast is 0% chance of rain.  We get to the food truck and no breakers have shut off.  The truck cranks up the very first time.  It’s rolling. We load all the food into the truck and there’s plenty of room in the fridges. We remember to strap everything down before we pull out. [Laughs] Because that happens often. We pull out and something falls and breaks.

We arrive at our location 10-15 minutes early because there was no traffic. There’s no problem with the truck and the generator starts up the first time. We set up on time and there’s a line waiting before we even open. Then when you’re cooking, you fall into something that I like to call ‘The Matrix’, where you’re almost not thinking about what you’re doing and things are running smoothly and the flow of expediting is good. People are paying in cash—we take credit cards, but cash is always good. [Laughs] And the beer is cold… that’s obviously after we’re off the truck. But yeah, just a lot people walking away with smiles. You can’t ask anything more than that.

You’re very close to being a contestant on The Great Food Truck Race. What do you think the show would do you for your business?
We were talking about it just the other night. We were asked to join them last season, and I had to turn it down because we opened the very next day. I know from those conversations you’re only allowed three to a truck and there are five of us that are working on it at the moment. We’d have to figure that all out. Business wise, it’d help us expose our brand. There are still some people in Orlando who have never heard of us. That’s good. It’s some untapped market. But it’s also shocking because we’ve been on the cover of the [Orlando] Weekly, and wow, we were in the [Orlando] Sentinel eight times just last month. And how have you not seen the thousands of people waiting at a [TheDailyCity.com] Food Truck Bizarre Event in the Fashion Square Mall parking lot?

We think in this town you have to have something extra to make it big. The show would help people in Orlando realize there’s some really cool things going on here in Orlando that aren’t franchised, and are independent. We’re real chefs. We’re not a roach coach, or whatever you want to call it. We feel like coming off a road trip like that we could get into a space with rent that’s not too expensive. Maybe open a small retail shop? That was always in the plan for us. It would just help us get where we need to be brand-wise.

And when do you find out if you made it or not?
No idea. The voting goes into September. And I’m already a little weary, because I hate asking everyone to vote for us all the time. But it’d just be a good thing for us if it happened.

What would you do if the food truck business faded away tomorrow?
I’d have to have a couple tough conversations with some employees. [Laughs] Honestly, I’d cry and I’d probably think about what city I’d want to be in next. And that’s tough to say because I love being a part of the change in Orlando.  I love being a part of what’s making Orlando a better place to live, and I do think we’re helping to accomplish that.

But you’d definitely keep cooking, right?
Oh yeah. I don’t think I could ever step away from cooking. I’m not smart enough and I’m too crude and rough around the edges to do anything else. [Laughs] Food is the only thing I have any expertise in.

*Interview Date: August 20, 2011

To follow Big Wheel Provisions, hit them up on Facebook or Twitter. Also, PLEASE vote for them to be in the next Great Food Truck Race by clicking here. We need Orlando to represent!

Without people like Mark (and many others already interviewed on this blog), Orlando would continue to be defined by its theme parks. Instead, there’s something much more authentic bubbling in the city besides the new, illuminate million-dollar Lake Eola Fountain. There are a group of passionate art lovers and contributors who genuinely love the arts and art shows they promote, who only participate in these events for self-fulfillment or educating others. This makes Orlando one of the greatest places to live. We are a city that houses a lot of talent that likes challenges and doesn’t give up. Here’s what I mean:

Where are you from?
I was born in Fayetteville, North Carolina. Now… is this one of your gigantic interviews where it’s, like, the whole human being?

[Laughs] The whole human being?
Yeah, well some interviews are just about an event.

No, this is about you and your life story.
Oh my God. I’m nervous now. I’m neeeerrrrvvvous. Okay, go.

How did you make your way down to Orlando?
I auditioned in Atlanta, Georgia for a show called, The Legend of The Lion King.  I had no idea that it was basically for an African American cast or vocalist. I had never heard of the show before. So I auditioned. Sang. They called me back and hired me for a comedy show [The Anacomical Players] and brought me down here in like ’98.

What’s made you stay?
I didn’t. As soon as my contract ended, I did not want to stay at Disney World as an actor. So I went to study graphic design in Atlanta for about a year and half. I came back to Orlando, because it was kind of like my home base in my brain. I ended up going back to the theme parks as an actor because I couldn’t get work in graphic design. Then in 2003, Disney Cruise Line hired me for two contracts.

During the second cruise contract, I made friends that were like, “You should move to New York and audition for New York stuff.” So I went to New York and got a lot of job offers. I turned them all down because I was scared. At the very end, in the fall of 2004, I was offered a role on the national tour of Oliver. I took it.

I did Oliver and then did another cruise line gig with Royal Caribbean. After that, I had the choice of going back to Orlando or New York. I had given up my apartment in New York. On the ticket they gave me, it said Orlando. I could have fought it because technically they had flown me to Puerto Rico from New York, and that’s where they should have flown me back. But I didn’t care. So I was like, “Let’s go back to Orlando.”

When I got back to Orlando, I sat on my ass for a few months. Then I applied for a graphic design job for a company here and they ended up making up this position for me called Viral Marketing Specialist. Basically, it was my job to come up with ‘out of the box’ crazy ideas to sell to their clients.  I did that for about a year and then left.

Then I did my show Improv Cabaret at Fringe. I spent a year or two taking that to different cities—to San Francisco, and New York and Miami and Charleston. I thought that was going to be my thing. My background is in Musical Theater and it was the perfect mix of theater and improv. I was like, “Who else is doing this? No one.” I thought it was my ticket, but eventually it went nowhere.

I did go on one more tour, and an off broadway producer in New York told me to call him when I got back off tour. I had met him once before. I called him right when I got back. He never returned the call. I was so scared… sometimes I get scared of success and moving forward. I never gave him a second phone call. That ended Improv Cabaret for me.

What’s your favorite part of performing or being on the stage?
It’s a job. There are some fun aspects to it, but it’s what I went to school for. It’s what I have the most experience in. It’s just like if you study math or banking… that’s the job you end up doing.

I’m shy… and awkward off stage. On stage, with the right piece and the right settings I can be completely different.

What’s your favorite show that you performed in?
My resume is so tiny… I guess my favorite was Jesus Christ Super Star. The character I played was King Herod. Usually he’s a large, rotund, slightly feminine character who is being sassy to Jesus. I went in I gave them what I thought he should be… and committed to it. And they hired me.

I’m not rotund. I am feminine, but I did it in a different way. And I did my version of the song. I hadn’t re-written it, but I had made choices. I’d say they kept 99% of them. I changed a line or two. I added a big, huge high note at the end of the song. My research had only consisted of going on You Tube and watching other performances of King Herod. That’s what I liked about it. I had come in with new ideas for musical theater and people had liked what I brought. That performance was one I had a hand in. It was fun.

What’s been your favorite live performance to watch?
Oh… that’s a good question. I love The Early Show, as far as improv goes. That’s here, and they’ll be at the upcoming Orlando Improv Festival. I like the Broadway Series that comes through because of the level of quality is extremely high. And at some point I’m going to go see The Orlando Ballet. I love ballet.

Where did the idea for thedailycity.com come from?
It started as an arts blog, but after touring the country and seeing hundreds of cities and downtowns and tiny towns and big skyscrapers and bridges and dead factories and old malls and new malls and new urbanism… and then coming back to Orlando, I couldn’t help but look at the city with different eyes. The arts are one part of a city’s culture, just as much as urban planning and community gardens. So I started paying attention to the whole picture and not just one sliver of it.

On tour, there’s also a lot of down time and you’re in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of actors. There’s just nothing to do. It took my mind off the hotel I was in and put me in Orlando. I was like, “Who is this person? What is this person writing about? What stories are going on?” It was fun. It was like writing a little newspaper that no one was reading.

Why did you choose to blog about Orlando, and not a theatrical, artsy city like New York that is known for its arts?
Why are you attacking me? [Laughs] I’m kidding. I had no interest in that. It would have never even occurred to me because that market is so saturated.

Who runs this operation?
A lot of it is me. And then what I don’t know about, I look for help. And I’ve found some great help. A girl named Jennifer—she loves music—she just went to the Vans Warped Tour and did about fifteen interviews with a microphone and camera. I had no idea this was happening.

There’s another guy Samir who loves movies and music. He posts about movies or concerts that are coming up. I know nothing about music. Food wise—we don’t really have anyone blogging about food yet. I’ll post if a new restaurant opens or if there’s a Food Truck Bazaar, but I don’t talk about it. I give pictures and tell people where it is.

How do you receive most of your information?
I do a lot of my own research.  I develop relationships with people who are doing interesting things and they send me information, tell me what they’re doing next.

What makes the cut?
I go by my gut. I write about things that I think no one knows about, small, interesting things, like an art opening at Pompom’s. But then I’ll get a press release from Macy’s about Karl Lagerfield’s new line and I’ll blog about that too, because I know some people might care about that. Like me, I care about that.

Mark and Mayor Dyer

Often, I get invited to the same press events that TV and newspaper people get invited to. And there I am, with my iPhone camera in hand standing next to a row of thousand dollar professional video cameras… I’m not The Sentinel. I’m not The Weekly. So for me to go up to people and ask questions, it’s pretty scary. I’m not a gigantic newspaper and sometimes they’ve never even heard of the site. It’s a yo-yo experience running this site sometimes. To some people I’m nothing and to some, I have value.

Do you ever wake up in the morning and think, I don’t want to do this anymore?
Yes.

What do you do on those days?
I don’t work on it that day. I mean, I don’t have a staff of fifteen that I need to pay so that they can feed their babies, so I can take some hours off.  But in the back of my head, I know that if I don’t have a blog post going out, it hurts my business.

Where do you vacation?
I’m too poor to take vacations.

What’s going on in your love life?
Oh my God! What! How dare you. [Laughs] There is a person of interest right now. They’re lovely to be with and smart. Romantically, I prefer smart people over creative people. That yin and yang thing has had an appeal since college.

In your opinion, what’s trending in Orlando right now.
Obviously food trucks.

TheDailyCity.com's Food Truck Bizarre is known to attract thousands.

Do you want to talk about how they’ve evolved from your point of view?
It’s super exciting. I think we’re moving at such a fast speed. We just started getting the word out about food trucks in March. That’s when the first [thedailycity.com] Food Truck Bazaar was and everyone went ape shit. I think that’s what really kicked it off, at least in my opinion.

Even before then, in 2009 I was supporting food trucks, the taco trucks. I was doing taco truck taste tests, and inviting people to the truck, and having people translate the menu from Spanish to English. I was getting people out of the cars and eating in gas station parking lots, which was unheard of back then to mainstream audiences. Cut to just a month ago, when we had a national food truck TV show filming an episode in Orlando. From what I was told, they were going to come to Florida, but only to Miami. Somehow they heard about what’s happening here in Orlando. I don’t know how. They didn’t tell me and I didn’t ask. But they asked me, a writer from The [Orlando] Weekly, and a couple of food bloggers to speak about the food trucks they selected. So now Orlando’s food trucks are going to be on national TV. From March to July, we’ve moved so fast, and I just think that’s incredible.

What are your favorite food truck delights?
I love Crooked Spoon’s mac and cheese. I love sides. I love Big Wheel Provision’s grit cakes, four triangle cakes made of grits and deep fried. I love anything from Yum Yum cupcakes. Those are my three side snacky things.

Why do you care about what happens in Orlando?
I just see the possibility. I don’t know. It’s hard to not get excited when you can see opportunity for the city, for its citizens and for yourself.

Tell me about the Improv Festival you started.
I started doing a lot of Improv Festivals myself, as a performer. I liked what I saw. I came back to Orlando. Orlando did not have an Improv Festival. I went on Elizabeth Maupin’s blog, I wrote her an email that said, “Put this on your blog, please. I’d like to do an Improv Festival in Orlando within one year.” It was a personal challenge to myself. I had never done anything like it before. I’m an actor. I know how to wake up, put my head shots in a folder and go to auditions.

I almost wanted to get angry when I thought of Orlando not having an Improv Festival. I mean, why? It’s a giant city. We have the talent. We have the venues. We can bring people down. No one else is doing it. So I did it. It was a put up, or shut up moment and I used thedailycity.com blog to get the word out. I gave myself a year, and within a year and two months the first Improv Festival happened.

What are your goals for this year’s event?
Increase the audience attendance. Increase the number of shows. Have a dedicated after party location. And also generate more awareness, which will always be a constant battle.

Why do you think people don’t show up?
Because they never heard of it.  Because no one knows the names of the people in the theater. There’s a lot against us, and you have to know that going into it.  I’m figuring out how to combat that but sometimes it seems impossible.

Well, here’s your chance. Sell me. Sum up the Improv Festival in five words.
Well, you have to think…

Stop right there, that’s five words.
Canada, Chicago, Washington State, Atlanta and a ton of Central Florida teams coming together for three days of comedy improv shows.  The selling point is we’re bringing people in from across the country.

Mark, this is the point when you’re suppose to tell me that’s it’s going to be soooo funny and that I shouldnt miss it because…
Oh! Yes, of course, it’s going to be funny! [Laughs] Every God-damned city needs to have an Improv Festival! If they don’t have one, they need to slap themselves upside the head and figure out how to get one. If they can’t afford one, they need to figure out how to make money to get one. Quote. Unquote. I like this… this is fun.

*Interview Date: August 11, 2011

To keep up with Mark or any of his projects, visit any of these sites: www.thedailycity.com, www.markbaratelli.com, www.tacotrucktastetest.com, www.orlandoimprovfestival.com

Mother Falcon proved to be different. They defied the odds during a tough economic time, and while some local businesses shut its doors they kept growing into the next building size. INTERESTING. I found myself wanting to create and customize my own t-shirt of my favorite Magic player just to support the business (Remember Pietrus? Yeah, well I still miss him and his last minute three point shots). I also started attending the Mother Falcon art shows. It wasn’t too much longer before John and Melissa agreed to carry my book in their store. And soon it became very clear to me that Mother Falcon had always been much more than a t-shirt shop. COMMUNITY. Mother Falcon has become a gathering place for Orlando’s creative and art-inspired neighbors.  And now with the opening of their newest venture, a craft beer and wine art bar called The Falcon, the heart of Thornton Park is pulsating again.

Did you guys know that there’s a band called Mother Falcon?
John: Yes. They’re from Austin, where my family lives. And it’s totally a coincidence. We found out about them when we started our Facebook page.

I noticed that you beat them to the Mother Falcon Twitter domain. So that must count for something, right?
John: Yeah, we got lucky. We didn’t realize that they were a band until after we opened up the store.
Melissa: We went to South by Southwest about two years ago and they were headlining as one of the big bands there.
John: They were actually on the cover of the paper—the Austin Chronicle.
Melissa: And we were like, “Cool! Perfect.”

Where did the name Mother Falcon come from?
Melissa: Basically, we wanted the store to be called The Falcon. We were always talking back and forth about whether we wanted a second store or location. So we joked around that the first store would be the ‘Mother’ store. Then we kind of thought the name Mother Falcon was memorable and it just kind of developed from there.

Why a T-Shirt design shop?
John: We realized there was a niche for it. Both of us wanted to make custom clothes and couldn’t do it. So we thought it’d be a good idea to start doing it that way.
Melissa: Yeah. We both really like customized t-shirts. The only places around that did it were iron-on places, and we didn’t feel like you could completely express yourself with that. There wasn’t enough creativity.  At the time, we were thinking of opening a business together and so we just decided to do that—customize shirts.
John: Plus, the only other way to get a custom t-shirt was on the Internet. And there was no way to control how good it came out or …
Melissa: Yeah, there’s no personal experience on the Internet.

Is there a company you modeled Mother Falcon after?
Melissa: [Pauses] We looked at a shop that did iron-ons, where you picked your own iron-on. We liked the fact that you could have a hands-on experience with the graphics. So we did model ourselves after that a little bit. We also modeled ourselves after a tattoo shop, where you can look through books or pick art.  It all kind of came together organically. We kind of didn’t know what we were doing. We just put ourselves in the place of a customer walking in the shop, and thought of what they’d like to experience.

Why do you think your business thrives in Thornton Park?
Melissa: Well, we’re residents of Thornton Park. We both lived in other places for about eight years—out west. We both ended up coming back. I think when we came back we both realized how much we loved our home and loved Orlando. We have a lot of passion for our neighborhood and for our city. We appreciate it.
John: Right when we opened, everyone in the neighborhood totally loved and supported us.

But retail is so hard to do downtown…
John: Retail is hard to do anywhere right now thanks to the economy.
Melissa: Yeah, that’s true. I think we have a legitimate love for our city and people embrace that.

How did you two meet?
John: Through E-Harmony…
Melissa: [Laughs]

No way.  C’mon…
John: [Laughs] No, we met through friends. And we hit it off immediately.
Melissa: We had the same mutual friends from high school all the way up…
John: And we never knew each other.
Melissa: Yeah, we never knew each other.

So when did you officially meet?
Melissa: When we had both just moved back to Orlando…
John: …in 2004.

Who made the first move?
John: I did.
Melissa: [Laughs]

Who’s always right?
John: She is.
Melissa: [Laughs]

What’s the secret to sharing a business and a marriage?
Melissa: [Pauses] Communication.
John: Yeah. And understanding.

Understanding what? That she’s always right?
John: Yeah. [Laughs] We both have the same goals. We both want to be successful. And so we help each other out.

Who does what around the shop?
John: I do mostly t-shirt printing and graphic design. She does all of the business aspects and marketing. And social networking. Everything.
Melissa: Yeah, social networking. Marketing. Accounting.

You guys certainly draw a lot of business during the NBA season. What are you guys gonna do if the NBA lockout continues and the season is canceled?
Melissa: Cry. [Laughs]
John: Yeah, cry. And not just because we might lose business but because we’re fans. There’s nothing more that I like doing than watching basketball after work.

What’s been your favorite Magic shirt?
John: Matt Barnes Will Kill You.
Melissa: I like Dwight Power.

Have you heard any feedback from the players?
John: We had a player come in who thought the shirts were really funny.
Melissa: What was his name?
John: Malik Allen.
Melissa: Yeah, and JJ’s wife came in about a shirt for herself. Her and her friends wanted to spell out ‘WE  ♥ JJ’ on their shirts and wear it to a game. We also gave her a shirt to give to Ryan Anderson… the ‘I’m Gay For JJ’ shirt.

One of many shirts created by Mother Falcon.

Really? That’s awesome. Was she a good sport about it?
John: Yeah.
Melissa: Yeah. She thought it was really funny.
John: We also had a fan wearing that shirt pose with JJ for a picture.

Who’s your most loyal customer?
Melissa: Don Miller.

Who’s that?
John: He’s a radio personality. Hilarious. Really smart guy. Does political radio.  He’s very cool and comes in all the time.

Who’s your most famous customer?
Melissa: [Pauses] I don’t know.
John: I don’t know either. Shaq?
Melissa: Yeah, we’ve made shirts for Shaq before.

What were they?
John: They were for the Shaq Vs show, you know? We made him a Bieber Fever shirt.
Melissa: Yeah. It was Shaquille O’Neal versus Justin Bieber. And so he wanted Bieber Fever and #1 Dad.

What’s been the strangest shirt request?
Melissa: There’s so many.
John: Yeah, there is a lot.
Melissa: We get that question a lot too. Let’s see… what would be appropriate? [Laughs]
John: We’ll pretty much print anything that’s not racist. We don’t tolerate that. If there are curse words, we’ll print that. You know… we’re not prudes. [He looks to Melissa] What’s a good one?
Melissa: [Laughs] There’s one that comes to mind, but I don’t want to say it.
John: The pound one?
Melissa: Yeah. [Laughs]
John: That’s the one I was thinking of too.
Melissa: [Laughs] Let me think about it some more. Ask me again later.

I’m excited for The Falcon to open. Whose idea was it to open an art bar?
John: Like we said earlier, it’s really been an organic process. We started out making t-shirts and it grew and grew and grew. We started getting involved with the local art scene, and we’ve been having monthly shows… do you want to take over?
Melissa: No. [Laughs]
John: So basically, we decided to open The Falcon so we could host the art shows and cater them ourselves.
Melissa: Basically, we’ve been doing art shows each month and each month we feature a local artist. You can either buy the art or get the art printed on a t-shirt. The shows just kept growing and growing and we just thought it’d be nice to have a bigger space to have parties. And voila! The place next door became open. So we decided to try it.
John: See. Her answer was way better than mine.

[Laughs] Why are the arts so important to you both?
Melissa: Since high school, I’ve always been around artistic and creative types. And while I took more of a business path, I think I’m still a creative person.
John: There’s no such thing as too much art. It’s cool to be a part of what’s happening now. We love the artists here. There’s so much talent in Orlando.
Melissa: We never talk about it, but John’s a good artist. When we visit his family in Texas, there’s a painting his grandfather has from when he was ten or something. Right? His mom always tried to encourage him to go to art school, but he never wanted to. So I’m glad he has a way to express himself now.

What kind of crowd do you hope The Falcon draws?
Melissa: Hopefully just the same crowd we’ve been having… people that are fans of art and the arts. We’re gonna have craft beer and wine. So people who enjoy craft beer will have a new place to come.
John: It’s going to be no smoking too.

Which will be a nice contrast to Burton’s.
Melissa: Yeah right. I think it’s going to be for people who are looking for something a little different in Thornton Park.

What comes next after The Falcon?
Melissa: Baby Falcon. [Laughs]
John: I don’t know. Let’s just get The Falcon open first.

Now tell me… what was on that shirt?
Melissa: This guy came into the shop and he wanted a shirt with an ‘I’ and the pound sign and a women’s body part that I will not say out loud.  He wears it around Thornton Park while riding his pink scooter all the time.
John: I think his scooter’s white.
Melissa: Oh is it? [Laughs] I thought it was pink.
John: No it’s not, but a pink scooter does make the story sound better. [Laughs]

*Interview Date: August 9, 2011

To make your own customized t-shirt or learn about any upcoming Mother Falcon art shows, visit www.motherfalconclothing.com.

Once, a long time ago, during a dinner among second-tier friends, I admitted that I didn’t like animals. I had said it casually and as quietly as please pass the butter.

“How do you not like animals?” the hostess inquired. She was blonde and thin and new to the circle of friends, like me.

“I just don’t,” I replied.

In a ripple effect, everyone at the table stopped eating, stopped talking and turned to me, eyes wide open and with forks in hand.

“But everyone loves animals,” the hostess declared.

“Okay,” I said, and then I dunked the roasted chicken into the gravy on top of my mashed potatoes.

“Okay,” she repeated. It was a question, not a statement.

I looked up. “Yeah. Okay. I don’t want to fight about it. But not everyone loves animals,” I stated.

By the way everyone was looking at me, I could tell I needed to keep talking.

“What?” I continued. “Just because I’m not an animal lover, doesn’t mean I’m an animal hater. I like dolphins and penguins and things in the wild. Animals that you can go pay to see… from afar. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m just not into pets. Domesticated animals. Like cats and dogs. They’re dumb and gross.”

I reached for my glass of red wine, pulled it close to my lips and gulped. Eventually, I found myself staring at the ceiling.

“Just me? C’mon… I can’t be the only one that doesn’t like domesticated animals,” I pleaded to the table. There were no visible signs of allegiance. I debated what to do next.

Do I tell them my story? Does my story matter? Oprah says never to trust people who don’t like animals. Wait. How do I know that? Who told me that? Was it Erin? No it was Mandy. Never mind. Who cares. What am I doing here? Why is this chicken over-cooked? And why is it so hot in here all of sudden?

And with the click of the air conditioner, and a cool breeze blowing in my face, I spoke up.

“So growing up, I had these two dogs, both blonde Cocker Spaniels named Bummer,” I began. “The first Bummer was smart and friendly and fun. At least this is what I was told. I only have one photograph of him from when I was two-years-old. But he must have been cool, right, because one morning someone snatched him. And that was the last we ever saw of him…

“And then three years later, my soon-to-be step-dad tried to win me over with a new Bummer at Christmas. This Bummer was nothing like the original, although the name suited him more. Instead of playing with me, this dumb dog rolled around in his own shit and spent most of his time trying to escape the backyard. Sometimes he’d run—from like twenty feet away—and smack! He’d run straight into the glass door and bounce off onto the outside patio, nearly gauging himself on the sprinkler. You’d think after awhile he’d know not to do that again. But he didn’t know. And that was the funniest part. So he’d just keep ramming himself into our sliding glass door and I just kept watching him do it.

“Bummer…” I stopped, took a deep breath in and shook my head from side to side. “He was something alright. When he wasn’t ramming into the sliding glass door he was digging holes under the fence and we’d have to go on these hour-long search parties to find him. Honestly, it was when I didn’t care if we found Bummer #2 that I realized…”

I looked around the table. There was not one reaction. I dug deeper.

“Do you guys see these scars on my face?” I asked as I pointed to my right cheek, below my eye and next to my lip, where three little slits spread out across my freckled skin. “I was attacked twice, by two different dogs, both Scottish Terriers,” I explained.

With that cue, the guests rocked forward, leaning over the table and into my personal space. As they stared at me, I stared at them. Would they know what a dog bite looks like? I thought.

“No wonder you don’t like animals,” the hostess said, breaking the silence of the room. “That, like, totally makes sense to me.” And then she flashed her pretty, white teeth and plopped back into the cushiony chair.

I had practically forgotten about that dinner party. And then, just last Tuesday, while at Publix and in front of the cake mixes, I accidently bumped into the hostess while reaching for a graham cracker piecrust. It had been years. Still, she appeared exactly the same, with her long blonde hair and lanky lean legs.

“Did you cut off all your hair?” she began. It was the first of many questions to come. “Did I hear that you wrote a book? What else are you working on? Was that your cat and dog I saw on Facebook? They’re sooo adorable! And so is your boyfriend by the way. Where did you find him?” And then she paused, and it was my turn to speak.

I stared into her hazel eyes and watched her eyelashes cling to each other with each blink. Poor eyeballs, I thought. She uses way too much mascara. Someone should tell her.

I looked to my right, over my shoulder and down the aisle of tightly packaged products. There was no sign of him, but I was still comforted by the sight of all that food, tightly packaged and on the edge of each shelf, waiting to be plucked and taken to its new home. I turned back to the hostess and once again, found myself debating over what story to tell her.

“Yeah, who would of thought it? I’m all domesticated now,” I wanted to say. “But it’s not what you think. I didn’t go out and buy that cat or anything. I took her home one night so the girl next to me at the bar would stop crying her eyes out. She was going on and on about it being euthanized, or something like that. She couldn’t take it to her house because she already had five animals. And so I adopted that little bag of bones based on two conditions: the promise of a 50% discount at the vet she worked at and also the guarantee I could give her back at any time.

“And as for the St. Bernard that sheds and slobbers. Everywhere. All the time. So much that there are towels strategically set up all over the house for when it happens, because it always happens. She’s part of the deal. She comes with the boyfriend. And with him, comes laughter and love and dinner parties without any explanations.”

But instead of telling this truth, I told my second lie.

“You were right,” I declared, shrugging my shoulders. “I guess everyone does love animals.”

“How did that happen?” my boyfriend asked me. He can be romantic at times, but this wasn’t the day for that. “No offense or anything,” he continued, holding the new Orlando Weekly in his hand. “But who voted for you? I didn’t.”

Melissa Felcman from Mother Falcon had just texted me a congratulatory note, but we needed to see it in print to believe it. And there it was, on page 47.

Who did vote for me? I couldn’t help but wonder. I hadn’t campaigned or asked any of my friends to vote for me. With my boyfriend’s announcement, I knew he hadn’t voted for me. Based on my mom’s puzzled expression when I told her about winning, I could tell she hadn’t voted at all. So how on earth did I become Orlando’s Best Local Author? I’m guessing YOU–the readers of this blog–voted for me. And for that, I must say THANK YOU.

And, I’M FLATTERED. It honestly was such a surprise.

Orlando has a solid amount of talented writers living within its limits. If you’ve attended any of the Burrow Press events, Tod Caviness’ Speak Easy’s or J Bradley’s There Will Be Words, you already know this. To be a part of this family is an honor. To be recognized by them and others that care about this city is the ultimate compliment. It’s also encouragement that comes at a time of laziness. So thank you for calling me out Orlando Weekly. And thank you readers for voting. I mustn’t quit now.