Recently, I discovered that someone deleted me from Facebook. I found out because when I had typed this person’s name into the search box to spell-check it and no recognizable names showed up. At first, I chalked it up to one of Facebook’s technical difficulties, like when you’re on chat and it stops sending your messages. Then, sadly, reality settled in when I went to this person’s page and was confronted with the message:  Anonymous only shares certain information with everyone. If you know Anonymous, add her as a friend on Facebook.

I wanted to write back. First to Facebook:

Dear Facebook,

What the fuck? I do know this person. What do you mean I must add her? She practically begged me to be her friend just a few months ago. I had accepted her request out of the kindness of my heart, and now you’re telling me I’ve been deleted? She didn’t even deserve to be categorized as a friend—but you made me do it. Why don’t you have an acquaintance request? Or perhaps an I’m-a-stranger-but-I-want-to-be-in-your-life-and-know-what-you’re-doing request? Now I’m really confused. Did I lose a friend? Or didn’t I? Look what you’ve done.

Certainly not your friend at the moment,
jana.

Next, a letter to Anonymous:

Dear Anonymous,

I just recently realized that you demoted me from being your friend.  I’m sorry to hear that. Have I offended you? I sure hope not. But if so, why didn’t you tell me? We’re adults and should be able to talk about such things. Perhaps my status updates were bothersome? In that case, there is a button that you can click and it allows users to hide certain people’s status updates. Did you know that? Considering you were able to find the delete button so easily, I’m sure you do.

Anyways, I just wanted to apologize again for whatever it was that I did. I have no time reference to when you deleted me from your account (is this part of the problem?), so I’m clueless as to what actions may have caused you to take such drastic measures. Before I go, I’d like to offer you a suggestion at no cost: perhaps you should send a list of your expectations to people before you ask them to be your friend. It might save you some frustration, and also weed through those who accept friends so recklessly.

I hope deleting me from your existence brought you great satisfaction. Have a blessed day!

Regards,
jana.

I’d never really write these letters. The truth is I don’t really care. Well, okay, maybe I feel a bit guilty that I have offended someone but I have no idea what I’ve done. It doesn’t help matters that I have to see this person on a regular basis and wonder what’s worse: our deleted friendship or our fake friendship in real life.

Facebook: it’s not just a social-networking site—it’s a place to let your thoughts be known. So express them. Don’t delete friends. Hide them and air your dirty laundry.